Let me start off by saying that prison love or marriage isn’t farfetched. As a matter of fact, it is possible for inmates to fall in love. It isn’t impossible for them to have a semi-normal life within the penitentiary. The actuality of people finding love outside of these walls is a reality, a concept that is true. People tend to think because prisoners are not physically present that it couldn’t exist. That is a stigma that society needs to dispose of.
Men incarcerated can be a great support to women out there in the real world. I think the stereotype of prisoners only wanting to be with women for their money is disrespectful. There are men in prison that are good. Men that truly seek companionship and real love from a woman. I understand that there is a narrative about prisoners being savages and barbarians. But the fact is, I’ve met more normal men in prison than I ever expected in my years of incarceration. It’s just most men are not being understood or given a second chance to break the mold.
Do not take this as me saying that all prison marriages are “peaches and cream” because it’s NOT. It may seem amazing at first once you meet her. It may put you in cloud nine. You may think she’s perfect. It may even make you feel special. That well may be the truth, but prison love can cause a strain in your marriage. Everything that once was special becomes stagnant. When your marriage becomes complacent and contentment kicks in. Everything starts to roll downhill. Then you try and slow down, but your brakes won’t work. Your significant other begins to realize the financial burden. She recognizes her possibilities of having a real relationship with a man out in the real world. Their curiosity begins to grow and grow until they act on it. There are many variables that can make or break a prison marriage.
My story is one that is common but is an example of a broken marriage. I met a woman through Meet-N-Inmate back in 2018. From the moment I met her it was, “love at first sight”. She was perfect from head to toe. Everything about her was amazing, from her personality to her sensuality, and her brain. I used to tell her she has the three B’s….” beauty, brains, and booty”. She was my soulmate. We fell in love so fast and got married so quick. I think the fact that we never had a chance to get to know each other on a friendship level first hinders our longevity. I ignored all the signs. I told myself, once you meet someone you truly love, you hold onto them tight and never let go. I didn’t allow anything to pass me by. I supported her in everything she done. I financially supported her every other month with bills. I spend money on her for special holidays and occasions. We never argued or fought. That was the exterior….
Nevertheless, we both got comfortable. Then contentment kicked in. Although, I trusted her and had faith in her, that wasn’t the case. I introduced her to one of my closest friends. He was going through a rough patch in his relationship so, I volunteered my help and allowed him to get relationship advice from my wife at the time. As time progressed, my dynamic with her and him began to shift. He was never around. She never wanted to message me, did not send me pictures, no video grams, nor even speak on the phone.
Finally, one day she tried to get a reaction out of me, it worked. She broke it off with me. I found out that she wanted to get married to my friend. I confronted him and it was true. We had our exchanged of words and he finally made a decision to not be involved with her. He realized how vindictive and malicious she can be. She lied to me for months. She lied to him about everything they spoke about. She gave him empty promises. I just exposed her to him about her negative character and misleading qualities. He internalized it and ended the affair with her. Until this day…. I still never got closure. I honestly don’t know where we went wrong. I fought and fought for us to work things out. I wanted us to stay together but her heart is not in it no more.
I am sharing this experience with my readers as a way of eradicating any negative connotations about prison love. I want to see my peers win and find happiness in here. I want us all to find real true love. But the fact is…. there are some fellas that may have screwed it up for good guys like me. The reality of a prisoner finding a good woman is one in a million. People in prison don’t want to see someone else happy. Once you do find that then keep it to yourself.
Do NOT ever trust anyone else with your women. In other words, don’t ever give your friends or homeboys in the joint your women’s information. That individual will screw you over and creep with your wife behind your back. I speak from experience. Not only me but others in prison as well. If I can rewind time and change the outcome of it. It would be different. This made me realized that certain women aren’t to be trusted and homeboys too. I am not trying to convince anyone from finding love. I’m just raising the awareness that can happen in a prison relationship. When it does happen, you don’t get disappointed. It won’t hurt as much and cause less pain.
I want to thank the woman who made me realize that good guys deserve better. Plus, a tiger doesn’t change its stripes. We are worth more than a bad heart break. We are blessings. Never allow anything of that nature change your integrity. There are hundreds of beautiful women who wants a real man. God has a plan for all of us. We just have to be patient and the right women will fall into your lap. Thanks for reading this. (>_<).
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Francisco Sao
