I got to Bedford on December 22, 1994. llost my biological mother, Maria Rios on October 15, 2005. That really broke my spirit. My mother was my bff and I called her, Lovey. And it still hurts like yesterday, but I have priceless memories that keep her alive and no one can take those. The very first song I composed in prison was a tribute to her in 2017, which titled: Mi Mai (Spanish for: My Mom). Here are some lyrics: I miss your beauty/your Natalie Wood beauty/ your Betty Davis eyes/Frank Sinatra ways and John Lennon’s mind/your Hollywood smile/love for Central Park and First Lady style/its no wonder why/l close my eyes and you come to mind/its no wonder why I find myself following behind/I miss your beauty/ Mi Mai/Mi Mai/Mi Mai…
I was initially blessed though, upon entering these gates with a surrogate mother, Valerie Gaiter (known as, Val G and my Ma Val). From day one she took me under her wing and she would introduce me as, “This is my bad kid, Diamond” (Diamond was a nickname I acquired right before getting arrested, which I no longer go by).
Val G was no joke, and a walking open heart of pure love. She was a loving mother-figure to all. People were literally afraid to speak to her because of her no-nonsense-demeanor and very strong character. And she was a known fighter. Yep! she was a tiny little thing that would f*ck you up if you disrespected her. She was like Tyson’s baby sister. But once you got to know her, and IF you were about a self-postive-transformation – her love poured out like that of a true mother.
My very first Mother’s Day here, 1995: I walked onto our housing block and found two tables fully covered with all kinds of different cakes. Each also had a little toothpick-note in its center letting you know its flavor. I said: “Who did this?” I heard several happy, and joyful encores of: “Your Mom! ” Val G!” It melted my heart. The setting really looked like a bakery. But wait, im not done that afternoon she took pieces of cake to all mothers who were keep-locked (mandated to their rooms on a 24/ hr. lockdown for receiving a misbehavior report).
I’m still not done. Ma Val worked in the messhall. As being an Old-G, she owned the messhall and its ovens.On all holidays, especially Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas, my mom, Val G, would cook as if she were feeding the whole facility. And she did. Every single keeplock on grounds had a meal on these holidays. Val G loved to cook, dance to house music, take our click-click (visit) polaroid photos, take care of you if you were sick and feed you until your belly hurt. As long as you were around for change: a positive change within yourself, she would never let you feel as if you were braving this world alone. She was pure love. Val G entered Bedford in 1980. She began her clemency petition in 2013. In early 2018, she was diagnosed with stage-four-cancer.
Dozens of advocates and organizations implored the governor for her release, at this time – it became medical release. To no avail. Val G passed in August of 2019. If you google her you will learn more about her life and the unnecessary way it ended. She was incarcerated for 37 years and l’d bet she changed, touched, and saved, a good 3,700 lives. If not more. Her favorite house song was: Hot! (artist unknown), and her favorite Spanish song was: Danza Kuduro, by Don O’Mar. And Yes! I also have beautiful memories of my Ma Val. More blessings with the circle of synchronicity and the universe unfolding in my life. In 2012, I was blessed with another jail-mother, but this one was a force to be reckoned with.
I can only explain by sharing: this one landed in my heart as a deep message from above. This one has my biological mother’s birth name, Maria Rios. Val G completely understood, and Maria, well, there’s no comparison – she holds a candle to both my Lovey and Ma Val. That’s love. That’s what we were made of, made from and made to be, LOVE. And so, Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers as we celebrate and toast our Mother Earth: of women who brought us to life, and helped change our lives with their loving, giving and nurturing souls.
Last important mention, let’s toast to our memories of them, but remember to do so with those that are still with us, so that you can have your own memories.
Be Love & Happy Mother’s Day! XOX
* The beliefs, opinions, values, and perspectives expressed/shared by our guests, interviewee’s, and guest blogger’s are indeed their own and not that of PrisonBaes LLC, their affiliates, and employees.
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