The sun was shining warmly for the end of January. The breeze was gentle with just a hint of winter upon its breath. I stood with two other lifers as they talked of their daily irritants. My eyes were following a wisp of cloud as it drifted the horizon. Appearing to dance and slither through the tips of the trees.
I thought of fingers running through a woman’s hair, of a woman’s fingers drifting through mine. I don’t recall smiling intentionally, I would have never known I was if not for the abrupt lull of the two men beside me.
I glanced at them, one nodded and said, “This bro is already free.” The other stated, “That or he’s lost his damn mind, smiling around like a chimp with no lips!”
Now I’m conscious of my smile as that was the funniest thing I’d heard all day. Lifer #1 asks what is on my mind… I answer, “The freedom to experience unabashed intimacy.” The reply, “W.T.F.?!?!”
My smile now a ghost of its former self as I excuse myself and go spin some laps. A thought rattles into my awareness like a tiny rock in my shoe…
How many miles have men shuffled upon this trodden circle with thoughts such as these? Wishing to express them yet knowing the environment did just as I… walked alone, smiled to self and prayed for love…
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