This morning I awoke at 5:15am to a 85 pound fur-ball jumping onto my bunk and ever-so-kindly plopping himself down on me.
His name is Big Boy Beefstew. We all call him Stewie for short. One, because he’s got a big head like that baby on the Family Guy cartoon. Secondly, few people wish to walk through a men’s prison calling out, “Here Big Boy” in falsetto. You may end up with a yuppie and not a puppy following you home! I am one of the lead handlers, (we say handlers, not trainers as we don’t have the official certification) here at Stafford Creek in the Freedom Tails Dog Program. We work hand in hand with PAWS of Grays Harbor here in Aberdeen. A great group of people who genuinely care about dogs, cats and now a few ol’ jailbirds!
I had heard years ago that when a person finds their passion, they find a purpose. And each day lived with purpose is a day lived free. My initial thought was this guy is talking straight outta his ass! Mind you at that time I was still serving a Life Without Parole sentence and had no light in the tunnel of my existence. A few years later we brought a dog program into the Clallam Bay facility (different than the one I’m in now, we worked with the people from WAG out of Sequim Washington there). Suddenly I understood! These rescue dogs had for sure rescued me. All those fancy words I’d heard in all those self help classes: altruism, reciprocity, forgiveness, patience, empathy not apathy… became defined. Like some old caveman eons ago, a spark… a light in my tunnel. A purpose. A freedom. I bought in, all in. I ordered training books and I even actually read them! I had other lifers ask why bro?
To be honest, for awhile I didn’t even know, I had no answer. Then in crawled Kenai. She was a 10 month old Shepard who was reactive to everything. People, dogs, cats, birds… I mean everything. We were in a small meeting room with about 15 of us crammed in there and, how do I explain this… ever have a moment where you just know something? I did right then. I sat down on the floor stuck my legs out straight in front of me and just looked at my knees. The room got quiet, like underwater quiet. She came up and sniffed both my ears, my mouth, my eyes. When I felt her shoulder press lightly into mine I said real softly, “Hi Baby.” Suddenly there was a puppy in my lap! Squirming and licking my face. The main lady from WAG said to take her if I dare and see what I could do. We’ve never seen her act that way.
She literally belly crawled to my cell about 100 yards or so away and the next four months were the most challenging, healing and freeing time in both our lives. As she walked out on her release date, head up, confident, ready to embrace and be embraced by the world… I found my answer! I came in myself a broken, scared, over reactive youngster. Dropped off at the pound for humans, not suitable for living in society. And maybe, just maybe if I could take their brokenness and lovingly piece them back together there is hope that my own brokenness can be mended. That I can now walk out on my release date, whenever it is, with my head up, confident and ready to embrace the next chapter in the story of my life.
Some may find it odd that my greatest lessons in humanity came through dogs. But for all those who have been so pleasantly, rudely awakened as I was this morning know exactly what I mean. I will write more soon on the dog program and how simply amazing they are very soon.
May what you believe bring blessings to you and those you love.
* The beliefs, opinions, values, and perspectives expressed/shared by our guests, interviewees, and guest bloggers are indeed their own and not that of PrisonBaes LLC.
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